Merwahmen
by Neflanthir
Summary: Malik & Marik's POV. An AU look at Malik's past. YamiMarik. Content warning for chapter 7 & 8. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Well, since I've finished my beloved fic, I guess it's time to start another one. I've written a bit, but I'm still not sure of what I'm doing with this fic, so we'll all have to see how it turns out.  
  
I'm going to try & change my usual pairings, not sure if it'll happen, but I'm going to give it a go. Not sure what the pairings will be yet though, other than shounen-ai, though I'm kinda tempted to try Jou/Mai, even though I don't really like the Yugi-tachi very much.  
  
*uses resurrect on Shaami* There, new story, so live again & review ^_^  
  
~-~  
  
"Love? What's that?"  
  
I can't believe he just asked me that, how can anyone not know what love is? Yet, I can't think of a suitable reply, so does that mean I don't really know at all?  
  
"Love is an emotion that binds people together. There are many different forms of love." Ryou's reply is perfect, almost like a recital.  
  
"Love is really special, everyone wants it." Anzu adds.  
  
Everyone wants it? Speak for yourself Mazaki, I don't want the love you mean. That type of love is pathetic & weak & painful. I don't want it to come & ruin my life, or disgrace me. Any love other than that of my family is a waste of my time.  
  
"Does that mean I love you hikari. Since we're bound together?" Marik asks naively.  
  
"No, it doesn't. That isn't what they meant." Why must my yami be so stupid?  
  
"Then what do they mean hikari? I'm confused."  
  
I sigh & turn my attention elsewhere, my yami's questioning is becoming annoying. Can't he just take a hint?  
  
"Hikari?" Marik tries again, he's persistent if nothing else.  
  
"I can't explain yami, ask someone else." I snap.  
  
Marik looks taken-back, & despite feeling guilty, I turn away again.  
  
"What's wrong Malik?" The surprisingly soft voice belongs to Bakura.  
  
"Nothing really." I reply tiredly.  
  
"Come on Malik, what is it?" Yami pushes for an answer this time.  
  
"No-I guess this is reminding me of my chichioya." I reply, avoiding eye contact.  
  
"You're father? Why would that make you depressed?" Bakura asks sceptically.  
  
"I don't know, it just is. I need some air, excuse me." My reply is blunt.  
  
I quickly exit the crowded room & head outside, making my way to the park to think. Not that I want to remember the truth, let alone think about it. You see, the truth is, this isn't about chichioya at all, this is about someone else, but I'm not about to admit that to them, nor do I want them pushing me for answers I don't want to give.  
  
~  
  
I watch hikari leave, knowing why he's really running away, I'm the only one who knows, though I doubt hikari realises I do. I won't tell them the truth though, hikari hurts enough, & I don't want to make him hurt more.  
  
Though hikari is normally right, one point he made earlier was wrong, the emotion that binds us together is the same emotion that binds him to neesan & Rishid, so it is love & that is why I'll protect his truth from them.  
  
I know hikari doesn't like my questions, but technically I am only five years old, so I don't understand everything, only what Malik showed me, & love wasn't something he's ever shared with me.  
  
I have seen him show love once however, though I didn't know what it was until just now. I didn't understand why he cried when she was gone, he'd never hurt over losing any of the others, it left me confused. I know now that it was because he loved her & that her death still hurts him, even now. Ryou said there were lots of different forms of love though; I wonder what type it was for her & Malik.  
  
"You know what's wrong with him really Marik?" Bakura asks, halting my train of thoughts.  
  
Why does he have to ask? I don't like lying to my best friend, but for hikari's sake, I have no choice.  
  
"No idea what's wrong with him. If he says it's chichioya, then it is."  
  
Bakura looks at me sceptically, he isn't stupid, so he's bound to know I'm lying, still, he knows I don't like lying to him, so he won't push me for an answer. As expected, Bakura shrugs & goes back to helping Kaiba harass Jou. It's almost amusing that he'd stop annoying the mutt just to make sure Malik was okay, I wonder if, nah.  
  
"Yami, what's it over this time?" I ask, pointing to the three arguing.  
  
Yami shrugs. "I think Jou insulted Mai again, so she got them to deal payback, you know they don't need much encouragement."  
  
It's funny, not long ago I would never have imagined talking civilly to Pharaoh, let alone being friendly. Everything changed after he & hikari came to save me though. I've been close to both of them since then, though Bakura & I are best friends, we have a lot of fun together & not all of it 'harmless', not that our hikari's know that.  
  
We still have a lot of shadow games, mainly with gang members who won't be missed, & sometimes we summon the monsters from their cards & have more realistic duels. Otherwise it's stupid game with the others, prank wars or team challenges. The pranks aren't too bad & some of the nastier yami vs. hikari challenges are fun, but a lot of it is boring.  
  
Yami nudges me slightly & looks concerned, I guess it isn't often I get lost in thought though & I've probably been spaced out for a while. I nod slightly, to let him know I'm okay & then turn my attention to the still- ongoing fight, the mutt is obviously losing badly & is currently asking everyone for assistance, no one will help him though, they all know better by now.  
  
Today is going to be a long day it seems, I just hope Malik is okay, I didn't realise my innocent questioning would upset him so much, I'd forgotten about what happened. I sigh slightly, sometimes not being the uncaring yami I was before is a bad thing, as I find myself worrying about things or people, mainly Malik, far too much.  
  
I think I'll head home now, neesan will be wondering where we are & hopefully Malik will be back so I can apologise for upsetting him earlier. I don't know whether to talk to him about what happened though, it could make things much worse & he could hate me for it, or it could help. Neesan says that talking about things helps people to deal with things, but I can't help but think Malik would just hurt more.  
  
"Bakura." I say loudly enough to be heard over the bickering.  
  
"What is it Marik?"  
  
"I'm going to head home now, I want to see if Malik's back."  
  
He nods & goes back to the pointless name-calling.  
  
"See you & Malik tomorrow?" Pharaoh asks.  
  
"Sure thing Pharaoh. Ja ne."  
  
"Ja Marik."  
  
Upon exiting the house, I suddenly feel eager to check on my hikari, though I don't know why, so I make sure to keep a quick pace home.  
  
~-~  
  
Well, there we have it, the first chapter is done & I'm still clueless about this fic, isn't that fun -_-  
  
Anyway, please review this odd chapter & I'll update soon. 


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks Shaami & Todo for reading this weird thing & thanks for the reviews. I hope I can figure out what this story is about soon so I can write a better summary. Next chapter as ordered Todo *salutes* I hope it's acceptable ma'am. (Can't help being sarcastic, gomen ^_^)  
  
~-~  
  
I've been sat in the park for hours now & it's beginning to get cold & dark, so I suppose I'd better head home, neesan will be wondering where I am anyway. Though today brought back some unpleasant memories, I think it was probably a good thing.  
  
I've avoided thinking about it for a long time now, & it was about time that I had to face it. My main concern right now isn't what happened so long ago however, it is whether or not Marik knows what happened & told the others.  
  
Upon my arrival into the house, Marik greets me quickly with a concerned look, surprising for my yami normally, let alone considering I snapped at his earlier, he should be angry with me. Wonder if this means he knows then? He's only normally this understanding when he knows what's wrong with me after all.  
  
"Um, can we talk Malik?"  
  
Yeah, he definitely knows why I snapped earlier, great. I suppose I have no choice but to talk to him then, I need to know if he told the others about it. I nod my consent & head to my room. I don't really feel like dwelling on the past any further today, unfortunately, I know Marik is going to push me for answers, he wouldn't have asked to speak with me otherwise.  
  
Upon arriving in my room, I turn on my CD player, though not paying attention to what plays & collapse on my bed, today has been emotionally exhausting & I just want to relax now, damn my yami for being concerned & curious.  
  
I sigh. "What is it you want yami?"  
  
"You know what I want Malik, I want to know about her, why she still makes you sad."  
  
"Did you tell them anything Marik?" Worry laces my words.  
  
"No hikari, I know better than to do that."  
  
I let out the breath I didn't realise I was holding, this is a big thing for me though, I've never even told neesan about her, she was my secret, my pain.  
  
"I hurt because I felt responsible for what happened to her, it's guilt."  
  
"Is that really all it is? Did you love her hikari?"  
  
I stare at him, feeling as though I've had the wind knocked out of me. Earlier he didn't understand love, now he knows how I felt? How do I answer that? Do I even want to? What does it matter if I loved her anyway? She's been dead for years.  
  
"It doesn't make any difference Marik." I retort spitefully.  
  
I don't mean to, but this subject makes me very defensive, I guess I'm being a coward & am trying to shield myself from any pain.  
  
"Hiding this makes it worse for you hikari, she isn't going to come back, you need to move on & the only way you can do that is by admitting everything."  
  
I laugh bitterly, I know he's right but I don't want to admit that. Why did he have to get so smart all of a sudden? Must have spent too much time around neesan I guess.  
  
"Yes I fell in love with her, I still love her even now, so I miss her a lot & that's why it hurts me, okay?"  
  
I have to try hard to stop tears from falling, I don't need to cry anymore over this, I've already cried enough & my tears solve nothing, they only make me seem weak, no, they allow others to see I'm weak. Marik has yet to say anything, he just looks at me with a mixture of curiosity & sympathy. I hate sympathy, it only makes people feel even more weak & helpless, but I'm not helpless, I don't want anyone's sympathy.  
  
"I'm sorry hikari, I know I'm making you angry again, I didn't mean to. These emotions are new, I don't understand them."  
  
I snicker slightly, seeing my psychotic yami acting like a child is amusing, even if he is technically one. This is certainly a far cry from his behaviour at Battle City, not that I'm complaining. Most things have changed dramatically since Battle City though.  
  
"It's okay Marik, I should know better. Just promise me one thing, okay?"  
  
He nods innocently. "What is it hikari?"  
  
"Lets not talk about her again, or tell anyone?"  
  
He looks conflicted, but finally nods his agreement.  
  
"Okay Malik, I won't ask any more about her. I already told you I wouldn't tell though."  
  
I smile slightly as he leaves the room, he really does seem so young, innocent & dependant sometimes, it's like having an ototo. I really do love my yami as family, as my ototo; sometimes he can be more trouble than he's worth though.  
  
~  
  
I didn't really want to make that promise to Malik, I know he needed me to though; otherwise I would've refused. I want to know more about her, at that time, Malik didn't care for people, so I want to know what made her so special. I want to know how she died too, all I saw was him crying over her corpse, I could only see part of her head, which wasn't much to go on.  
  
I enter my own room eventually & lay on my bed, much as Malik had done. I guess we both have a lot to think about after today. I hope Bakura will drop the subject too; I really don't want to have to lie to him anymore. My baka thief friend probably won't though, for some reason he seems to have started being very nosy when it comes to Malik, he's also started showing compassion towards him, it's very strange.  
  
I really don't understand people, I did wonder if it was because Bakura has a 'crush' on hikari, but I don't think he feels things like that, it's much too out of character for the thief, he doesn't care about anything, well, other than his own hikari.  
  
Saying that however, most would say the same for me, I'm meant to be just as uncaring as Bakura, if not more so, I was trying to destroy everyone after all. Still, things have changed a lot since then, for both Bakura & I. Our hikari put a lot of effort into helping us, Ryou begged Yami not to destroy Bakura & Malik begged Yami to help find me & bring me back from oblivion.  
  
We all got something from that ordeal though, bodies of our own, so we don't have to suppress our hikari's, or in Yami's case, be suppressed by them. I still don't know how Malik managed to convince Pharaoh to help him though & I probably never will. It was probably his hikari's pathetic need to forgive everyone & only see the good in them, though if that is the case, I shouldn't be complaining.  
  
Anyway, I've drifted off my original point. The point in thinking all of that useless junk was to make admit something to myself. I said everyone would assume I couldn't care either, just as we all assume Bakura can't, when the truth is that I do care for someone, other than family. That's why I was enquiring about love earlier; I wanted to know what it as I was feeling.  
  
You see, the truth of the matter is, that I've fallen for someone, I don't know whether it is love or not still, but I intend to figure that out, as well as deciding if my feelings are returned, whatever they may be.  
  
~-~  
  
Well, it's still odd & plot-less, but hey, I updated at least. I'm not sure when I'll update next, as I've kind of used up my ideas so far, well, current ideas anyway, I have some for pairings still.  
  
Anyway, let me know what you think & I'll update when I think of something, maybe Thursday night, as stress relief, because Thursday is going to be a bad day -_-  
  
Please review, you know you want to ^_^  
  
Ja ne. 


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for reviewing Todo, since you ordered me to write the chapter & all. Oops, I'm being sarcastic again, how bad of me, ne?  
  
Not sarcastically this time, thanks for reviewing the last chapter Shaami. No, I really don't know what I'm doing with this thing, I had a few basic ideas but now I don't, so lets hope this chapter goes well.  
  
~-~  
  
I was just beginning to drift off when a stupid banging woke me up, I'm currently contemplating whether or not to get up & find out what it was, or just go back to sleep. Though saying that, it'll either be Bakura, or someone will have had an accident, so I'd better check, just in case hikari or Ishizu are hurt.  
  
It seems I was right the first time, haka dorobo is here, knowing him, it's about Malik & he'll try & find out what's wrong, however, I promised hikari not to tell, but if I tell Bakura that, he'll know something is really wrong, still, I don't want to keep lying about this either. Why do they have to make things so difficult?  
  
"Nan desu ka?" I ask bluntly.  
  
"What, no 'hello'? Some friend you are Ishtar." I should've known he'd be melodramatic about this.  
  
"I'm not in the mood thief, what do you want?"  
  
"Just making sure my 'dear' friend & his hikari are okay. Is that a crime?"  
  
"In your case, yes. We're both fine, so you can leave."  
  
He glares at me & starts walking towards Malik's room, which isn't a good thing.  
  
"Bakura, where do you think you're going?"  
  
"To talk to your hikari, whether you like it or not."  
  
"Bakura! Just leave Malik alone."  
  
"Why should I, if nothing's wrong?"  
  
"Just drop this thief, it's none of your business. Leave my hikari alone."  
  
"What if I don't want to Ishtar?"  
  
I hadn't realised up until now, just how thoroughly annoying the thief can be, or how stubborn the baka is. Why is he being so persistent though? What does it matter to him whether hikari is okay?  
  
"What's going on Marik?" Malik asks, still half asleep.  
  
"The baka thief was just leaving." I reply, a harsh tone directed at Bakura.  
  
"No, I wasn't. I came to see how you were, everyone's been worried about you." Bakura's tone is soft again; I'm not sure he even talks to Ryou like that.  
  
"Gomen, I didn't mean to make anyone worry. I'm fine Bakura."  
  
I can't help but smirk slightly, even half asleep; Malik still manages to lie perfectly. Still, it doesn't matter how well you can lie if someone knows the truth. I think Bakura knows that something is going on, Malik doesn't normally get upset, so for him to be so upset he isn't keeping up his mask, it's obvious that there is a big problem.  
  
"Malik, the others may believe that, but I know better. I'm not trying to pull anything here, I'm genuinely concerned about you."  
  
The scary thing being that it's true. Since when did Bakura start caring so much & why over my hikari? I'm feeling oddly over-protective about this whole thing; I just want to keep Bakura away from Malik, yet I don't know why. I really do hate these stupid emotions sometimes.  
  
"Look, earlier was stupid, I shouldn't have behaved the way I did. There isn't anything wrong, nothing you can help with. It was just the past coming back to haunt me, but that's over now, it doesn't matter."  
  
I really wish I could believe hikari's words, that the past didn't matter, that there really wasn't anything wrong, I hate to see him hurting like this. I wish he hadn't made me make that promise too; I really want to understand this better.  
  
"Don't even try pulling that nonsense on me Malik, because I'm not that naïve. I'm not leaving until I find out what's wrong with you."  
  
"Bakura, just get out. Malik's said nothing's wrong, so nothing's wrong. Just drop it already."  
  
Doesn't he understand that he's only making things worse? For once in your life thief, listen to me; just leave Malik & this particular subject alone. However, he just glares before brushing me aside, baka dorobo.  
  
Oh dear, this can't be good. The stupid thief dragged Malik back into his room & locked the door, to prevent me from interfering. Damn it Bakura, can't you take a hint? Please don't upset hikari any further; I don't want to see him crying so much ever again.  
  
~  
  
I glare at Bakura harshly; he's completely ignored both Marik & myself before pushing me back in here & locking Marik out, while also locking me in. It seems the thief is quite intent on receiving the truth. That is none of his business however & I have no intention of anyone finding out what happened. I'll just have to make Bakura see that this is not debatable; we don't enquire about his past, so he should have the same courtesy. Though the thought of him being courteous is somewhat amusing.  
  
"Malik, just tell me what's wrong, okay?"  
  
He says softly, kneeling next to me. It really is frightening that he can seem so caring sometimes, this is not the psychotic yami who was attempting to control the planet & I'm not quite sure how to react. Wait, did I just say he scared me? That can't be right, some stupid ancient spirit being nice is hardly something that should cause such a reaction.  
  
"To put things quite simply Bakura, it's none of your business. My past is my business & no one else's."  
  
"The point of having friends is to be able to talk about anything with them you know. I assure you that bottling up pain inside is never a good thing."  
  
"What would you know about any of that thief?!"  
  
He looks stunned & somewhat hurt by my comment. I hadn't meant to say something like that, let alone shout at him, he's making me defensive though, so I can't help it. He looks very sombre right now, & is lost in thought, perhaps I was wrong, maybe he does understand better than I thought, though, if that's the case, surely he should understand my need for privacy?  
  
"I know a lot about pain Malik & Ryou taught me a lot about friendship. I'm not nearly so lacking in understanding as you assume I am."  
  
I feel guilty about saying that now, but why? I don't understand how the thief can elicit such emotional responses from me.  
  
"I really didn't mean it Bakura, I just, I guess I was afraid of answering so I snapped at you to make you stop asking."  
  
He tilts his head & gazes at me curiously, I don't like being scrutinised at all, it procures a very uncomfortable feeling.  
  
"You can admit that you're afraid, yet you can't admit that you're hurting? Was whoever you lost really that important, or perhaps that much of a taboo?"  
  
I feel like I've been hit in the gut, how can it be that obvious? What am I supposed to do now? I don't want to tell him anything, yet at the same time, part of me thinks he might understand & that compels me to tell him about her. This is confusing; I don't know what to do.  
  
~-~  
  
Chapter done at last, hope it was enjoyable. Please remember to review as this story is really lacking feedback so I have little idea of what is thought of this piece, or indeed how to continue it. Arigato & ja ne. 


	4. Chapter 4

-_- Sometimes I don't know why I bother writing. I would threaten not to update until I receive a certain number of reviews, but as you're the only person reading this Shaami, that wouldn't be very fair on you. I really do enjoy reading your OTT reviews, so please do continue to write them.  
  
~-~  
  
I just continue to stare at Bakura in complete shock, I can't quite comprehend that he read me so easily. How could he know that I lost someone I loved, someone that I hid from knowledge, because I felt she was inappropriate? That fact hurts me, because it must have hurt her, yet I still hide her away even now.  
  
I wonder how she felt about our relationship, or more so, how she felt about dying in my arms while I hid her away in the dark, so no one could see I cared. I think she must have hated me for it, hated the fact that the man she loved hid her & that fact must have made her feel very unworthy & alone.  
  
I am snapped from my reverie when I notice a hand being waved in front of my face. I meet Bakura's gaze & am once again surprised by the concern present.  
  
"Sorry, I was thinking." I state, shrugging nonchalantly.  
  
"About the person you lost?" He asks softly, though certainly not tactfully.  
  
"I never said there was a person Bakura. What does it matter to you anyway?"  
  
"I lost someone myself Malik, I know what it's like. I've never looked at another woman since."  
  
"That was back before you got sealed?"  
  
"Yes. I was only a minor tomb robber then, Pharaoh's guards killed her for protecting me, that's why I hated him so much."  
  
"Hated? You don't hate him anymore?"  
  
"No, we're even now. After Ryou's effort to save me, I had to drop the grudge."  
  
"I see. It must have been hard for you to do though?"  
  
"Yes, it was, but it needed to be done. What about you?"  
  
Shimatta, I was hoping that he would have forgotten about me. I don't know that I'm ready to talk about her, yet at the same time I don't want to keep hiding her. I guess I owe him an explanation too, since he told me about his loss. This is going to be hard, I've never spoken of her before, my only hope is that I don't start crying.  
  
"Go & fetch Marik, then I'll talk." I state eventually.  
  
Bakura nods & leaves. I don't really want to explain it to one person, let alone two, but I know Marik really wants answers & as I said, I have to return Bakura's trust.  
  
~  
  
I still can't believe what that idiot thief did, I swear, if he upsets Malik any further, I'm going to kill him, despite the fact that he's my best friend. After being locked out of my hikari's room, I decided to come downstairs, initially to sulk & plot the tomb robber's demise, but I decided that destroying things on one of our many games was a better idea, as I'm at least working off some anger that way.  
  
Unfortunately, gaming makes me think about me 'crush', I wonder if that fact would give away who it is? It's funny; I would've laughed at the concept of caring for someone not long ago, especially if I'd been told whom I'd fall for. Irony is a strange thing. I can't help but wonder if he could ever feel the same for me, or if I could ever admit how I feel, to anyone, let alone him.  
  
Now my thoughts return to hikari, or rather, the girl I saw him crying over. Before that night, I had never even seen Malik acknowledge her during his meetings, or rather, when he gave out instructions as a group, they couldn't really be called meetings, as Malik spoke & they obeyed. Though, if she was a secret Malik hid, as emotional attachment would have been deemed as a weakness, I suppose they could have met up at night, when I stopped watching.  
  
Still, I know nothing of his relationship with her, I have always assumed that it was sexual & still do, but honestly, I can't even be sure of that, he's hidden all knowledge of her far too well. I don't even know the girl's name because she was so ignored in public, even though she was a superb duelist, I believe the problem was that her morals were too high, so they didn't like her to know too much.  
  
"Marik?"  
  
I don't need to turn around to know that it's Bakura; I wonder what the baka wants? He better not be here because he made Malik cry.  
  
"Nan desu ka?" I snap.  
  
"I convinced Malik to talk, he said to get you first though."  
  
"Hikari said he'd tell you about her?"  
  
"I told him about someone I lost, then asked him who he lost. He said to collect you then he'd answer me."  
  
"He doesn't want to talk about her, he doesn't want to remember."  
  
"He's agreed to explain Marik, so quit arguing & get moving."  
  
I glare at him, but do as he said none-the-less. I want to know what happened, so if Bakura's managed to convince him to explain, I can't ignore the opportunity. I turn the TV & console off, before heading upstairs, closely followed by Bakura. Hopefully, Malik will answer all of my questions.  
  
~  
  
I hear Marik & Bakura coming towards my room & begin to seriously regret saying that I'd explain. I don't want to talk about her anymore, I just want to run & hide. Unfortunately, they'd both kill me if I backed out now, especially Marik, because I know he's extremely interested about this.  
  
"Okay Malik, we're both here, so get talking." Bakura practically orders.  
  
I growl slightly. "This isn't easy for me you know."  
  
"Let's start this off easily then hikari. What was her name?" Marik's attempt to help is actually welcomed for a change.  
  
"Kaldea Quin, she was one of my Rare Hunters & a very good duelist. Most of the others were afraid she'd betray Gurus, because of moral convictions, but they respected her regardless."  
  
"Were you lovers?" Trust the thief to ask me that, he really is tactless.  
  
"Not exactly. She was, 'innocent', & we both decided to leave it that way."  
  
"In other words, you made out, but never slept together?" What did I just say about him being tactless, because I think it was an understatement.  
  
"Something like that, yes." I reply, holding back a blush, & the urge to throttle him.  
  
"How did you get to know her hikari?" At least Marik has tact.  
  
"I got angry one night & she happened to find me. She made me talk through the problem & gave me advice once I was done, from then on, I used her as a confidant, & things progressed from there."  
  
"I know you won't want to answer this hikari, & I'm sorry for being so blunt, but, what happened that night?"  
  
The question I've been dreading finally rears its ugly head. I wonder if I'm ready to answer this question, & if I can honestly tell the truth.  
  
~-~  
  
Well, there you go Shaami, another chapter done for you & still, I have no idea what I'm doing. At least with the others I had some idea at least for a conclusion; this one is just completely ambiguous. Being an authoress is such a pain sometimes. Anyway, please review & I hope you're enjoying the fic. Ja ne. 


	5. Chapter 5

Arigato Shaami, as always. On with this ignored fic, which I still don't know what I'm doing with. Oh and Shaami, no more comments like that, the dead girl isn't based on anyone, so leave her alone. Wait, I named her didn't I? Uh, I guess I'd better check the last chapter before I write anything else.  
  
~-~  
  
I'm currently pacing in my room, with both Marik and Bakura watching me intently. How am I supposed to answer that question? I can't talk about that, I just can't, it's no one's business what happened anyway, they shouldn't ask. I need to calm down; I'm verging on hysterical.  
  
Anything else and I wouldn't have minded too much, but I don't want to talk about losing Kaldea, that night was hell and I don't want to re-live it. On the other hand, I promised an explanation, and it might help me remove some of the guilt I have because of the events that occurred, though I doubt it.  
  
"It's hard to talk about, or even think about and I wouldn't know where to start." I say eventually and very shakily.  
  
"I know hikari, but it has to be done." Marik states, looking very apologetic.  
  
I take a deep but shuddering breath and take a seat on my bed, mainly because my legs have begun to feel like jelly. Marik looks at me concerned, while Bakura seems to be contemplating something. He looks at me suddenly and I know he intends to tell me something.  
  
"Wadjib was the name of the girl I told you about, Pharaoh's guards followed me to her home, yet she hid me and told them I wasn't there and that she didn't know me. From where she hid me, I saw them rape & disembowel her."  
  
"Bakura...." No wonder he caused so much trouble for Pharaoh after seeing something like that.  
  
"Why didn't you help her?" Marik asks in a naïve tone.  
  
"I couldn't, she made sure I couldn't get out of where she put me, not for hours at least. I think she knew what was going to happen, so she made sure I wouldn't be caught. I know talking about events like that are hard Malik, but if I can do it, then you can."  
  
I've never seen Bakura show so much pain before, or open honesty for that matter. Marik looks slightly awed, and I just feel awful. Still, at least from Bakura's story, I know that it's possible to talk about Kaldea and I know that I had something really special, that she never hated me at all.  
  
"Thank you Bakura, I think I needed to hear that."  
  
"I know you did, I would've have said it otherwise. I know that Wadjib wanted me to move on, to get on with my life and find love again. I'm sure that Kaldea wanted the same for you." Bakura states softly, though allowing a hint of mock-smugness to enter his tone.  
  
"You said hadn't looked at another woman though?" I enquire.  
  
"No one ever said I had to love another woman, I don't think I could if I tried, that doesn't mean I haven't been looking for another partner though." Bakura replies, albeit cautiously.  
  
"Neither of us cares if you like guys Bakura, we're not going to tease you about it. Besides, I swing that way myself." Marik admits, surprising me.  
  
I had a feeling that Marik was attracted to a particular 'friend' of ours, but I never expected him to admit it. I certainly didn't expect Bakura's confession of his sexual preferences either, though I am slightly curious as to whom he's attracted to, actually, maybe I'm not.  
  
I've never considered the possibility of caring for anyone else, any possibility of love in my life shattered when I lost Kaldea, as with Bakura, I found I couldn't even consider the possibility of being with another woman, but unlike him, I never considered the possibility of loving a man either.  
  
Still, this isn't the issue right now; I'm supposed to be talking about what happened. Still, Bakura seems to be doing a good job of not providing too much information, so maybe I could do that too. If I leave out some of the details, it would be easier to say.  
  
"I think I can explain now." I say quietly.  
  
Marik and Bakura both usher me to continue.  
  
"There'd been a lot of trouble at the time, she protected me too and I practically screamed at her for doing it, but I hadn't expected the attack and I would have died if she hadn't."  
  
"Sorry to ask Malik, but how did she die, I never saw any wounds." Marik enquires hesitantly.  
  
"Her own dagger, I think my arm was over the wound." I reply emotionlessly.  
  
"Why do you feel so guilty about it?" Bakura asks suddenly.  
  
I turn away from them both, wishing my emotions would cease. I don't understand how the thief can read me so well, but I have to find a way to stop it. On to the newest problem however, how to answer Bakura's question? I can't just say it's because she died for me, because he knows that isn't true, he wouldn't have asked the question otherwise. I guess I'll just have to tell the truth.  
  
"Because I hid her and my feelings for her away, she died alone in the dark because I was afraid of anyone seeing me upset, I wasn't meant to be weak."  
  
"She wasn't alone hikari, you were with her, that was probably all she wanted. I don't think mortals like being surrounded by people when they're at their weakest."  
  
Marik's comment startles me, for someone who only earlier asked me what love is, he's now giving me wise advice. I think he's right though, she never asked for help, she said it was worthless, she knew what was coming and she didn't mind. I can't help but smile slightly; perhaps talking about it really wasn't so bad after all.  
  
Because of tonight, I now realise that I have nothing to feel guilty about, she made her own choices and didn't regret any of them. I guess I have to let go of what happened now, but that doesn't mean I have to forget her, not that I think it would be possible to. I understand now Kali, so you can rest easy.  
  
"Thanks guys." I say, turning back to face them.  
  
"You're not sad anymore?" Marik asks, slightly confused.  
  
"No, I'm not, thanks to you. You made me realise that she made the choices and was fine with them, so I don't need to be sad about it, because she wasn't."  
  
Marik smiles and pulls me into a hug.  
  
"I'm glad I could help you hikari, I don't like to see you upset."  
  
The phone chooses that moment to ring, so my grumbling yami reluctantly leaves the room to answer it.  
  
"You helped me a lot too Bakura, thanks."  
  
He shrugs my comment aside.  
  
"As I said, I know what it's like, so I knew what needed to be done."  
  
Damn my curiosity for getting the better of me, because now I have to ask something I'm not even sure I want to know.  
  
"Bakura, who is it you like?"  
  
He briefly looks startled at my question, and somewhat vulnerable, though he quickly masks this and smirks.  
  
"That would be telling, now wouldn't it? I'm afraid I'm going to keep you guessing."  
  
"Ryou sounded pretty mad, he wants you home now." Marik states from the doorway.  
  
Bakura nods, still smirking. "Motto ato no minna."  
  
Marik allows Bakura passed him, before saying good night to me and closing my door behind him. Even though today has been painful, I'm glad it happened, because I'm finally free of a burden of guilt. I know without a doubt that what I had was real and that even though she will always have a place in my heart, I can find love again and that she wants me to, because she wants me to be happy. For the first time in a long time, I know I can sleep easy tonight.  
  
~-~  
  
Well, that's finally done, even if it was rather sappy. Unfortunately it now means that I have to come up with some ideas. I could always resort to the major flirting I used in the ties that bind us I guess, though I don't think I want to, considering I find mush highly unpleasant.  
  
Oh and if it wasn't obvious, 'Kali' is a shortened version of 'Kaldea'.  
  
Hope you enjoyed the chapter and please remember to review (not that I need to say that since you're the only person reading this junk Shaami). Ja! 


	6. Chapter 6

Ta as always Shaami. This will probably be the last time I update for a while, btw, as I'm going away. Oh, and no, I'm not going to do what you tell me, so :-P  
  
~-~  
  
I wake to find that it is rather late in the afternoon, which is strange; I've never overslept before. I wonder why neesan didn't wake me up? Eventually, I make myself presentable and make my way downstairs.  
  
The place is quiet, so Marik must have gone out, probably to cause havoc with Bakura. That thought makes me smirk, because he honestly doesn't think I know about it. He thinks I'd be mad with him, when the truth is, I've often thought about tagging along. Neesan has made it quite clear that I'm not to partake in their bad habits however.  
  
I enter the front room and find a note addressed to me, from the immaculate handwriting, I know it's from neesan. Skimming through it, I find that she got called to the museum to work and that Marik has gone out with Bakura as I thought. Sighing, I slump onto the couch; this is going to be a very boring day.  
  
Briefly, I consider phoning the Game Shop and spending the day with the Yugi-tachi, but quickly decide against it. After yesterday, it would be too much hassle; I'll have to wait a few days so they forget about it. However, that still leaves me bored and alone for the next few days, so I need to figure something out to pass the time.  
  
I have to ignore my first idea, since Ishizu would kill me if I didn't. Not that I see why hanging around with the rare hunters and getting more rare cards is a bad thing. Just because the last time I was trying to kill Pharaoh and rule the planet isn't any reason to forbid me having any contact with them. Wait, since when did I think like that? I must have been around Marik too much.  
  
Any more idiotic ideas or sarcastic thoughts are cut short when I hear a knock at the door, which probably means its Pharaoh, since pretty much everyone else uses the bell. I suddenly feel very thankful I took the time to get ready; I hate looking a mess. Good job Kali isn't around or she would've laughed at me, saying I sounded like a girl, she always found my need to look perfect very amusing, though she often said it was impossible for me not to look perfect. Anyway, I need to answer the door.  
  
"Konnichi wa Pharaoh."  
  
"Ya Malik."  
  
"Nan desu ka?"  
  
"Uh, I just wondered if you wouldn't mind, uh, I don't know, talking?"  
  
That's odd, why is he so nervous? It isn't like Yami at all. I guess I'll have to agree to find out why. On the bright side, it does mean I'm not alone and hopefully that I won't be bored.  
  
"Sure Yami, come in."  
  
I move aside and motion for him to enter the lounge. I close the door and ask if he wants anything to drink, damn Ishizu for making me learn how to be a good host. Thankfully, he doesn't, so I join him in the lounge and take a seat.  
  
"Uh, thanks Malik, this isn't a bother is it?"  
  
"No, I had nothing else to do. So what is it?"  
  
"It's kind of, embarrassing, promise you won't tell anyone?"  
  
Embarrassing? Why would he come to me then? Hm, this is getting interesting.  
  
"Sure Pharaoh, I won't repeat anything you say. So?"  
  
"Well, it's about Marik.."  
  
It's about Marik and it's embarrassing? I wonder, does that mean what I think it does? Lets be naïve about this then.  
  
"My yami? What about him?"  
  
"Uh, well, you see, I kind of, um."  
  
Oh yeah, it definitely seems as though I'm right, especially since he's turned a crimson colour.  
  
"Just say it Yami."  
  
He looks at me, seemingly startled and then takes a deep breath, still looking very crimson.  
  
"I think I've fallen for Marik, and I don't know what to do about it."  
  
I have to suppress the urge to start laughing, because he wouldn't take it the right way. It's more that I'm happy, because I know Marik has a thing for Yami too.  
  
"Tell him, or better yet, show him how you feel."  
  
"But, what if, I mean."  
  
"Calm down Yami, because you're really incoherent. Trust me, he won't laugh or anything, he'll probably just look like a gold fish for a while."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes Pharaoh, I'm sure my yami likes you as well, so I'm glad you came and told me."  
  
"Thanks Malik, I owe you."  
  
It's strange to see Yami look so happy, especially when it's because of my yami; things have really changed a lot. Still, that isn't a bad thing, not in this case anyway. I smile and nod.  
  
"No problem, this is as much for Marik as it is for you."  
  
"I know, but you still listened to me, I half expected you to turn me away."  
  
"In the past, I would have done, either that or challenged you to a duel with your puzzle as the prize. Things have changed a lot since then though."  
  
"Don't I know that, I mean, whoever would have thought I could have fallen in love with him after everything that happened?"  
  
"In love with who Pharaoh?"  
  
Oh dear, that's Bakura's voice, why didn't I hear them come in? They're not normally this quiet.  
  
"None of your business thief." Yami spits.  
  
"What are you two doing here anyway? Ishizu said you'd be gone all day."  
  
I try to change the subject quickly, before Yami and Bakura start fighting.  
  
"I wanted to check on you, seems that you're just fine though."  
  
Marik sounds hurt, I wonder if he thinks that Yami meant..  
  
"Right, well that was nice of you. Uh, Bakura, can you disappear please?"  
  
Bakura looks ready to argue, but I glare at him and start playing with a dagger, having thrown it at him numerous times for annoying me, he changes his mind and walks out.  
  
"What is this about hikari?"  
  
"Yami needs to talk to you about something. If you'll excuse me."  
  
I quickly exit the room; before either can protest and make sure Bakura isn't in the vicinity. Sufficed that he isn't, I head up to my room and hope that Yami doesn't cower out of telling Marik how he feels.  
  
~-~  
  
There you go, hope you enjoyed, even though I didn't do any flirting. Maybe I'll do that with Malik and Bakura instead. Maybe I'll do mush on the next chapter, or maybe I won't tell what happened, or just have Yami back out. Who knows? Anyway, review as always. Ja! 


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for reviewing Shaami, QHII and Kasumi. This chapter is set to contain some 'romance' and even better news, I can see an ending in the near future *sees Shaami running at her with a hammer* Uh, maybe that isn't such a good thing after all.  
  
~-~  
  
I stand looking at the doorway Malik just left; I thought that something was going on with them maybe I was wrong? I felt quite jealous, which I guess was pretty obvious, since Malik kicked Bakura out and left himself. Is it possible my hikari knows about my little crush? More importantly, what does Pharaoh want and why does he look flushed?  
  
"What is it Yami?" I ask, sounded completely confused.  
  
He fidgets around nervously and seems to be considering backing out of whatever it is he was supposed to say. I don't understand why Yami would be so nervous though, it isn't like him to act this way at all, he's normally so confident. The most logical explanation, I choose to ignore, since that would involve me being the person he and Malik were talking about, and I'm not about to accept that Pharaoh loves me.  
  
"Malik said to just tell you straight, but, it's easier said than done, you know?"  
  
"Not really Pharaoh, because I don't know what this is about."  
  
"Well, I-I can't talk with your idiot friend listening in. Isn't there somewhere more private we could talk?"  
  
"My room is about it." I reply, trying to sound nonchalant.  
  
Yami looks hesitant and blushes, making it harder to ignore the little 'can't be true' theory. I cock my head to the side slightly, trying to show that I'm waiting for a reply. His blush seems to deepen slightly, before he regains his composure and nods his acceptance.   
  
As I lead him upstairs, I find myself somewhat hesitant, I'm taking my crush into my room without knowing what condition it's going to be in, it's going to be highly embarrassing per say, if I have underwear strewn across the floor. I briefly considering retracting the offer, but quickly dispel that idea, Yami will only talk if it's private, so if I want answers, I'll have to risk embarrassment.  
  
As I reach my room, I take a deep breath before opening the door. At first, I think I've entered the wrong room, as it looks immaculately clean, then I spy a piece of paper on the bed and read it.  
  
Saw Bakura was being a pain, so figured you'd have to come in here, and knowing what a slob you can be, thought I'd better clean up a bit for you. Surprisingly it was fairly clean, so neesan must have cleaned up recently. Anyway, I'll leave it there, good luck yami.   
  
I smile to myself, seems my dear neat-freak hikari saved me, still, I'll have to keep this place tidy from now on, just in case Malik isn't around to help in the future. I put the note in the bin and turn to face Pharaoh, who is stood nervously by the door. I decide for the sake of answers, I need to say something to break the ice.  
  
"You can relax you know, I don't bite."  
  
Pharaoh mutters something to himself, which I don't quite catch, but it seems to give him his confidence back, so I'm not complaining, though I do want to know what he said.  
  
"What was that Pharaoh?"  
  
I try not to sound demanding, just slightly curious. He looks at me, confidently, though not as he normally does.  
  
"Malik said, 'tell him straight, or better yet, show him', that was good advice, I think showing you would be easier."  
  
"Show me what?"  
  
Upon my asking the question, he saunters over, very seductively, his hips rocking gently. He finally stops very close to me and proceeds to run his index finger along my arm, while I spend the entire time trying to convince myself that it's purely innocent, and not what it appears to be, which gets halted when he huskily whispers in my ear.  
  
"Show you how I feel."  
  
Before I can respond, I feel his lips upon mine and feel myself melt into the sensation, realising that my hopeless dreams weren't so hopeless after all. I kiss back passionately, as my arms snake around him, pulling him even closer to me, before unceremoniously dropping us both onto the bed. I know this is going to be something special, and that I will finally be able to truly understand the type of love that Malik holds so dear.  
  
~  
  
I sneak to Marik's room once I hear him enter it and close the door, I know I shouldn't really listen into my yami's private affairs, but I'm curious. Plus I want to make sure Pharaoh doesn't back out of telling him what he told me, I want my yami to be happy, especially since he helped me so much last night. I hear Pharaoh repeat what I'd said to him and not long after things seem to get a little too private, so I guess Marik got his answer. Time to leave before I hear things I don't want to.  
  
Upon arriving back at my own room, I find Bakura sat on my bed, looking at the book I had been reading. He'd better not lose my page, or I'll kill him. Still, I should probably kill him anyway for just inviting himself in, or maybe I should leave that job to Pharaoh and Marik.  
  
"What do you want thief?"  
  
"Why are you reading something like this?"  
  
"Because I want to, now answer the question."  
  
"Hm, why are you being so hostile all of a sudden? Embarrassed about last night?"  
  
"No, I just don't appreciate others inviting themselves into my personal space."  
  
"What's going on with Marik and Pharaoh? Don't bother saying you don't know, considering you were pretty much spying on them."  
  
"I wasn't!"  
  
Bakura gives me a sceptical look, so I just glare at him, before proceeding to play one of my CD's. I wasn't trying to spy on them, I just wanted to make sure Yami told him the truth. It isn't a crime to look out for your own.  
  
"So? What's the deal with them?"  
  
"It's none of your business thief. If they want you to know anything, they'll tell you."  
  
I sit on the windowsill, trying to ignore him, only to find that it only makes it more difficult. For some reason, I find myself taking note of his attire, noticing just how tight it is. I wonder if Ryou made him go shopping, because I doubt Ryou would own anything like that. Why would he suddenly start wearing skin tight clothing though? Well, he did say he was interested in someone, so maybe it's for their sake? I hope it isn't Marik though, or it could cause problems, they do spend a lot of time together, but I've never seen any signs of anything other than a mutual need to cause havoc.  
  
"See something interesting?"  
  
Bakura's comment soon snaps me out of my thoughts and I quickly feel myself blush when I realise I've been looking at him the entire time. Of course, that makes him smirk, stupid thief, he knows I was thinking; yet he deliberately embarrasses me.  
  
"No Bakura, I was thinking and you know it."  
  
"Hm, I know, but it was worth it to see you blush like that, it's cute."  
  
Cute? Did the thief really just use that word? Even more disturbing, did he honestly say it in conjunction with me? He does seem to act strangely with me, which makes me wonder if I'm the one he's interested in, but I try to dispel that line of thought. He's Marik's best friend and to be honest, he's pretty good at annoying me, there's still resentment from Battle City, where we drove each other up the wall.  
  
I think Bakura never really cared, but it still annoys me for some reason. Though on occasion his presence can be welcomed, normally, like now, he just really aggravates me. I mean, you don't just walk into someone's bedroom uninvited, let alone then proceed to make them want to throttle you.  
  
"Something wrong Malik?"  
  
His annoying voice is smug, yet at the same time, there is the slightest hint of concern, worry and quite possible, lust. I really don't think I want to be stuck alone with him, let alone with a bed conveniently sat nearby.  
  
"Other than what was already wrong? No."  
  
"You really don't want me here?"  
  
His voice is very seductive at this point and he's decreased the space between us very quickly. I really don't like this and unfortunately, there isn't a lot I can do about it, considering I had to return the Sennen Rod to Yami. I could call Marik, but I don't really want to interrupt him, or have him come in here half naked.  
  
"No Bakura, I don't want you in here. Please leave."  
  
"What if I don't want to? Maybe I want to spend some, 'quality time' with you."  
  
I shudder involuntarily, at this point there is practically no space between us and everything he says is in a husky voice, right against my ear. I jump when I feel his tongue on my neck and feel absolutely terrified, I can't manage to move or protest at all, I'm completely frozen with fear, which practically gives Bakura free reign. It doesn't take him long to start getting more serious, exploring my tensed body with his hands as well.  
  
I try to call Marik, but I still can't seem to find my voice, much to my dismay. Even more unfortunately, that last attempt gave him access to my mouth, which is currently being thoroughly explored. I feel so sick, but there's nothing I can do, I feel my legs begin to buckle and hope that the fall will snap me out of this horrible situation. The painful landing I was hoping for doesn't come however, as Bakura quickly scoops me up and places me on the bed, heightening my fear beyond anything I could have every imagined.  
  
All I can hope is that I can break free of this paralysis, or that someone will help me before Bakura can take things any further. Onegai Kami, don't let this happen.  
  
~-~  
  
That was so mean of me; I don't know why I wrote it, poor Malik.  
  
Please review anyway, the more reviews I get, the faster I'll update.  
  
Motto ato no minna. 


	8. Chapter 8

Ta for the review Shaami, sorry for making you so disturbed ^_^ Anyway, on with the fic.  
  
~-~  
  
I don't think I've ever felt contentment before, at least, not like this and all because of the person lying securely in my arms. We could be doing others things of course, but I thought it would be better to wait, which I think Yami was happy about. Waiting means that it's love and not lust, so I definitely think it's the best option. I can empathise with my hikari better now too, because I know it would completely devastate me to lose Yami, even though we haven't been together very long.  
  
Yami gets up, his lips once again meeting mine, before I can ask him if something is wrong. Our tongues soon start to dance and I feel complete exultation, this was well worth all the confused waiting. I wrap my arms around him casually as we break apart, kissing him softly on the forehead before he starts nuzzling my neck.  
  
"I'm glad Malik was right, because this is perfect."  
  
Yami states softly and I couldn't agree more, I really will have to thank Malik for setting this up. Not only did he help get me together with my crush, but he also saved me from embarrassment. Good thing my dear hikari is so bright, or things may not have worked out so well.  
  
That's strange; I can feel fear coming from Malik, that isn't like my hikari. It's probably just a nightmare, so I shouldn't bother him. I lie still with Yami for a few more minutes, until I feel Malik's fear rise dramatically, now I know it's no nightmare, it's serious. I get up quickly, not worrying about Yami for the moment and grab my shirt, very glad that it was the only article of clothing removed.  
  
"What's wrong Marik?" Yami asks concerned.  
  
"Malik, he's absolutely terrified, I need to help him."  
  
My reply is half muffled by the material of my top as I hastily put it on.  
  
"Take this then, I'll follow once I'm decent."  
  
I look over at Yami and feel my mouth drop open. In his hand is the Sennen Rod, freely being offered to me. Yami must really trust me if he's willing to give it back. I manage to knock myself out of my goldfish impression and grab the Rod, nodding my thanks to Yami as I do. Right now, helping my hikari is all that matters.  
  
I practically run to Malik's room, which isn't easy considering how much the hallway twists round. I don't understand what could have made him so afraid though; Malik doesn't scare easily. I'll help him no matter what though, I owe him that much and I care too much about him to let him come to harm anyway.  
  
Finally reaching hikari's room, I glance carefully through the partially open door. What I see is not something I expected and I certainly don't like it. My supposed best friend is the cause of Malik's fear and I have every intention of making the thief pay dearly for it.  
  
~  
  
The only thing I've managed to do is squeeze my eyes shut, so at least I don't have to see everything as well as feel it. Speaking of feeling, I felt a lot of anxiety, which I think was from Marik. Hopefully that means we're still linked and that he knows I'm in trouble. I would never have believed something like this could happen to me; and not all that long ago, I wouldn't have been counting on my yami for help. Strange how things change so drastically and how easily all your beliefs can be shattered.  
  
Thinking about stupid things was helping, until that vile thief made his presence quit impossible to hide from. I guess he didn't like the fact that I wasn't cringing and squirming. I really miss the Sennen Rod, because this wouldn't be happening if I still had it, the idiot would be on his way to hospital by now if I did. I really regret having to give it to Pharaoh.  
  
Ooh, I think I heard someone outside my room, I don't think Bakura noticed though. I wouldn't have if I weren't deliberately listening out for signs of possible help. I really hope it's Marik, but I can't check, or I'll alert the baka na dorobo. Marik, onegai, get me out of this.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing Bakura?!"  
  
Marik sounds absolutely furious, but Bakura doesn't seem even remotely phased. I know I would be if Marik had barged in like that on me.  
  
"Playing with your hikari, isn't that obvious?"  
  
"Get out of our house now!"  
  
Just when I think I'm safe, he just smirks and leans over me, running his tongue slowly along my throat. I shudder, my nausea rising and try to escape, but once again fail miserably. Marik is about ready to blow at this point and if I didn't want to maim the thief myself, I'd feel sorry for him.  
  
"I mean it Bakura, this is your last chance."  
  
Marik's voice has become very low and sounds calm, but this is when you really have to be afraid. Marik only gets this way when he's far beyond angry and that normally means very bad things for whoever or whatever has annoyed him.  
  
"You're beyond powerless Marik, so why should I care what you say?" Bakura states spitefully.  
  
"Are you sure about that thief?"  
  
At first I don't know whom the voice belonged to, but then I realise that it's Yami. What does he mean though? Bakura is right, without the Sennen Rod, we are powerless against those who have the items. Could he have..? No, Yami wouldn't have, would he? I mean, things may have changed, demo, he wouldn't risk something like that, surely?  
  
Bakura looks as dubious as I feel, but for the now, his attention isn't on me, so I'm not complaining too much. I desperately want to be out of this situation, but, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm afraid, I don't want him to do anything else, so I'm making myself remain quiet and still.  
  
Shimatta, seems he got bored of them, I really don't know how much longer I can cope, but I can't let myself fall apart in front of him, I won't do it. I won't break. Why isn't Marik doing anything? You're supposed to be helping my yami, so why are you just stood there? Calm down Malik, you were head of Gurus, so you don't need anyone. Sennen Ring or not, Bakura isn't anything to be afraid of, just remember what you learnt and deal with him.  
  
"Your dear hikari is mine Marik. I never did get what I was owed, so I choose him as my payment." Bakura states, softly, but with a spiteful edge.  
  
"Wrong thief, you never kept your end of the bargain, so I don't owe you anything."  
  
I deliberately make my tone harsh, before I graceful knock him off me and return to my windowsill. I'm glad Kali showed me that particular manoeuvre; I would have had a difficult time escaping otherwise. When she first started insisting on showing me self-defence, I brushed it aside as unimportant, but as always, she knew best.  
  
I can't believe it took me so long to take control of things though, have I really allowed myself to become so weak and dependant on others? It's disgusting that I could have become so pathetic, disgusting that I could have lost myself so much.  
  
"Malik?"  
  
"I'm fine Marik." I snap, though I don't mean to, Marik hasn't done anything to warrant it.  
  
"Hm, got your fire back? Good, I like a challenge."  
  
"Challenge? Please, you're not worth my effort thief."  
  
"Malik?"  
  
"What is it Marik?"  
  
"Why are you acting so strange?"  
  
"Because I'm through acting weak! Do you have any idea what it could have cost me? No, that doesn't matter. All of you idiots can remove yourselves already, I'm through playing."  
  
"Be careful Malik, you don't want to stray don that path again."  
  
"How would you know what I want Pharaoh? I'm not in the mood for this, so kindly leave."  
  
"That include me Malik?"  
  
"Yes Bakura, it does, because I've no interest in your presence, it simply annoys me."  
  
"Really? Then why put up with it?"  
  
"Because as much as I may dislike you, up until now at least, you were Marik's best friend. After that little stunt however, I don't feel like dealing with you any longer."  
  
Surprisingly, Bakura actually leaves after that, so now it's just Marik and Yami to go, before I can collapse on the bed and starting crying or something. Ishizu says it helps and I think it did when I was younger. Right now I just need a release and so long as I'm alone, I don't care. Marik looks worried, but I think now that Bakura's left, I've dropped the act somewhat, so I think he understands that I just need time to deal with what happened. He nods slightly, albeit looking beyond worried.  
  
Marik leaves Yami's side and walks over to me, close, but not imposing like Bakura was. He leans over to talk to me quietly.  
  
"Yami gave me this, but I think you need it with you, jut in case."  
  
He hands me something and to my surprise, I realise it's the Sennen Rod. Yami did give it to him after all. I manage a weak smile and allow him to pull me into a hug, this hit him just as hard as it did me and I need to let him know I'm not angry with him.  
  
"Thanks Marik and I'm sorry if I upset you. I need to be alone now, okay?"  
  
I whisper quietly, not really trusting myself enough to talk normally. He nods and leaves, though not before looking over with concern once more before pulling my bedroom door shut. I quickly lock it behind him and pull the curtains to, right now; I need to be perfectly alone. There is far too much for me to think about to worry about others. My pain never seems to end.  
  
I miss you Kaldea, I wish I still had you; I seem to have lost so much since you left my life. Neteru en Kemet, please let me have her back? My thoughts end there as I drift to sleep, her smiling face is the last thing I see.  
  
~-~  
  
Not how I expected the chapter to go, or the fic for that matter, but never mind. I suppose it makes things more interesting. Hope you enjoyed. Ja. 


	9. Chapter 9

Marik sighed softly, not wanting to wake his new lover, though he was glad to be with Yami, all he could think about was Malik. It was unlike Malik to be cold or cruel, he had only been slightly like that when Marik had influenced him, so to see him behave in such a manner had Marik worried. Looking over at Yami, Marik ran a hand along his face before standing and leaving the room, having decided to check on his hikari, in the hopes that it would put his mind at rest. Upon reaching Malik's room, Marik knocked lightly on the door, gaining no response he tried to enter, only to find the door locked. Sighing again, he headed downstairs; hoping one of his games could stop him worrying.  
  
When it had reached mid-day and Malik had still not appeared, Marik really started worrying, Yami having tried and failed to calm him. Marik tried knocking on Malik's door again, after once again receiving no response, he decided to force the door open. Malik's room was empty and the window open, a few things were missing, though not much, the fact that Malik, his deck and the Sennen Rod were gone was not encouraging however. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Marik turned to look at Yami.  
  
"Where ever he is, he can take care of himself." Yami stated softly.  
  
Marik nodded, though the words did nothing to comfort him. Pushing his fears aside, he accepted Yami's offer to look for Malik at the Game Shop. Though it was unlikely he would have gone there, it was possible someone could have seen him, it was also possible that his deck and sennen item were taken merely out of habit. He just hoped that Bakura wasn't present, or he wouldn't take responsibility for his actions.  
  
When they arrived at the Game Shop, they were surprised to find Bakura sitting quietly in a corner, sporting a rather large bruise on his face. Malik hadn't done it, so they didn't know who would or could have done it; the thief was not one to stand around and get hit and few would dare to try. Ryou noticed them at that point and walked over to them.  
  
"Malik isn't coming?" He asked quietly.  
  
Marik shook his head. "I don't know where he is."  
  
Ryou looked down. "I'm sorry about Bakura, I don't know what he was thinking."  
  
"Ryou, what happened to Bakura's face?" Yami asked curiously.  
  
Ryou looked up sheepishly. "Uh, I sort of lost my temper when I found out."  
  
Marik and Yami shared a 'goldfish' moment, too surprised to say anything. The fact that Ryou could get angry was a surprise in itself, but the fact that he had left such a huge bruise was almost unbelievable, he just didn't seem capable.  
  
"Wow, remind me to stay on your good side." Marik muttered once he had recovered from his surprise.  
  
Ryou blushed at the comment, embarrassed. "I think that was a one off experience."  
  
"Hey Yami! Where have you been? Oh, and where is Malik?" Yugi asked suddenly, having only just noticed the new arrivals.  
  
"I doubt either of those answers are any of your business, Pharaoh's brat." Bakura muttered darkly.  
  
"Hey you, leave Yugi alone!" Jou ordered.  
  
"Or what?" Bakura retorted. "Besides, nothing I said was wrong. What the Pharaoh gets up to isn't for his little hikari to know. I don't think it's appropriate, ne?"  
  
Yami blushed slightly, though he hid it well enough for the others not to notice. "I've just been, uh, busy. Sorry if I worried you Yugi."  
  
"Busy doing what Yami?" Anzu asked innocently.  
  
Yami almost chocked on the question, so Marik decided to step in. "He's been helping Malik and I research into his kingdom, Malik decided to stay home and carry on trying to decode some more information."  
  
"Wow, really? Have you found anything interesting?" Anzu asked overly- enthusiastically.  
  
"No, it's difficult and time consuming, but I'll let you all know if we do." Yami replied, while silently thanking Marik for his help.  
  
Bakura rolled his eyes, muttering something in ancient Egyptian, which Marik understood to be something along the lines of liar. Marik walked over to him and knelt besides him.  
  
"Do you know where he is?" He asked quietly but threateningly.  
  
"I may have seen him, but you wouldn't want to know." Bakura stated smugly.  
  
Marik's eyes widened slightly. "Are you suggesting he went back?"  
  
Bakura shrugged nonchalantly. "You can't honestly tell me that you hadn't considered it as a possibility?"  
  
"I have to go." Marik stated loudly enough for everyone to hear, before leaving the shop.  
  
Marik headed straight home to make some arrangements, all the time hoping that he and Bakura were wrong, hoping that Malik had not fallen back into the dark.  
  
Malik sat calmly on the throne in his former 'hide-out', he had been surprised to find everything clean and as he left it upon his return. He still wasn't sure why he had decided to come here, nor why he left without letting Marik know, considering how much he would be worrying about it. He had woken with the compelling need to return here, which had made everything else seem unimportant, especially since Marik wouldn't have understood and would have prevented him from leaving. Malik had briefly considered calling him to make sure he didn't jump to the wrong conclusions, but quickly realised that he had failed to pick up his phone in his haste to leave. Sighing, Malik closed his eyes, silently willing all the pain and worry to leave him, all he wanted was that happiness that he had felt with her, though only for a short time, would return to him again, only this time, he wanted it to stay.  
  
"Malik-sama?" A male voice enquired softly, surprise evident.  
  
Malik opened his eyes and looked at the Rare Hunter. "What?"  
  
"N-nothing, I'm just surprised to see you here. Though she did imply that you would be back..."  
  
"Who are you talking about?"  
  
"Kaldea. It seems the 'Dewat group' took her. She said to do nothing without you."  
  
Malik nodded, trying to keep his emotions under control. "Have the others see what they can find out, I want a report."  
  
The Rare Hunter, Teran, bowed respectfully and left the room to attend to his task. Malik was somewhat surprised that they were willing to follow him after how he had treated them, but he wasn't complaining, he would need their help to get her back safely.  
  
"Hikari?" Marik's worried voice questioned through their link.  
  
"I'm fine Marik. I haven't done anything stupid, not yet anyway." Malik replied.  
  
"Where are you Malik?" Marik's tone made it clear he had figured it out for himself.  
  
"Yes I came back, but not to carry on where I left off. I am taking control for a while though. She alive Marik, and they can help me find her."  
  
He felt Marik relax, understanding his need to pursue the past. Malik knew it was only because he had fallen in love himself, and would do anything for Yami; otherwise Marik would still not understand his feelings. Malik smiled slightly, glad that he and Marik had something in common, even if it was just that they were both so madly in love that they would do anything for their partner.  
  
Teran re-entered the room, bowing respectfully again. "Are you ready Malik- sama?"  
  
Malik nodded. "The more I know the better."  
  
Teran nodded, motioning the other rare hunters into the room. He quickly collected himself; it was strange being back after so long and that everything was going so easily, Malik knew he would not be so accommodating in their position. He could only assume that everything had played out this way because of Kaldea, even though he had controlled them, they had a genuine respect for her and her skills. He was still in shock to find that she was alive, let alone that she was still looking out for his well-being, even when trapped with such an unsavoury group.  
  
"It's time one of our own returned to us. Tell me what you know." Malik stated emotionlessly, starting the long and tedious meeting.  
  
The meeting lasted for a few hours, though it wasn't nearly so fruitful as Malik had hoped, all he really knew was that a rival group of 'card collectors', who were more cut-throat thieves, had set him up and taken Kaldea for themselves. She had gained quite the reputation, despite trying to stay out of the spotlight and barely even being seen in public; her unwanted reputation had been her downfall, as she had always said it would be.  
  
Malik stood up and entered his room, surprised when he wasn't hit with a flood of emotions, he could only assume it was because he knew she was alive. He felt a little angry, with himself for having fallen for their trick and with the Dewat group for having done it. He wasn't too worried now that he knew she was okay, and after the Sennen Rod had been so kindly returned to him. All he had to do now was find them; the rest would be easy.  
  
He settled into bed, willing himself to relax, he was in no mood for sleep, but knew he needed it. A glint of gold caught his attention from under a cabinet, moving to pick it up, he was surprised to find that it was the necklace he had given Kaldea, a piece of paper entwined in the fine chain. Carefully untangling the chain, he placed the necklace on his bedside cabinet, unfolding the note as he sat back on the bed.  
  
_"I had a dream in which I am lost to you, though not forever. You won't find this until it is the right time; though I am sorry to have caused you pain, one cannot change their fate. A place of rest hides within it darkness, which in itself hides that which you seek. Remember my binds love; it is the only way to free me. I wait for you as always, and look forward to seeing the light that was hidden before."_  
  
Malik sighed softly, knowing that she had seen what was coming made him feel worse for having been so clueless, but at the same time, he felt better, since she had been prepared for it. The note also gave him hope, since it said they would be together again, he had been worried that after so much time, he would lose her. Kaldea was not known for being wrong, so he trusted her words completely.  
  
"A place of rest hiding darkness...what does it mean though?" Malik muttered softly.  
  
"A tomb, perhaps?" A voice said, making Malik jump.  
  
"Marik?! Where did you come from?"  
  
"I was on my way when I spoke to you. You didn't really think I'd let you do this alone did you?  
  
Malik smiled. "Not now that you've gone soft, no."  
  
"Get some sleep hikari, we can figure everything out in the morning."  
  
Malik nodded, feeling safer now that Marik was with him. Malik placed the note with the necklace before settling down again, hoping to fall into a restful sleep, but knowing that the riddle would bother him until he solved it.  
  
-  
  
Well, finally done. Sorry for the delay, I've been busy working and I kind of ran out of ideas. Hopefully the story isn't lacking for it, and my new twist to the plot isn't awful. I'm trying for a happy ending, for Malik anyway, I may have to make Bakura suffer a little more, as much as I adore him, he deserves it.  
  
Thanks to Shaami, Remy2004 and Darka-Chan for reviewing. Hope you all enjoy and review some more! Arigato soshite ja ne. 


	10. Chapter 10

Morning seemed to come all too soon; the few hours of sleep he had managed to gain had been broken and littered with unsettling dreams. He had never been one to remember his dreams and being bothered by one was even stranger, so to have so many unpleasant dreams had been unusual and unwelcome. He was thankful for the little sleep he had managed though, knowing he would feel even worse had he stayed up all night.

He picked up the letter again, running through the words for any clues. He knew all too well what the comment about her binds meant, it had been for that very reason he had originally made her stay, something he later became very thankful for. It did mean that he'd have to be careful, but certainly it wasn't something that would be too difficult to solve. It was the clue to the location that was proving problematic, 'a place of rest hides within it darkness, which in itself hides that which you seek', it didn't really make a lot of sense, unless of course, you knew the answer.

"Damn it Kal, couldn't you have made this easier?"

"Getting annoyed with a piece of paper isn't going to get you very far hikari."

Malik blanched, having forgotten Marik was there. In this place, all the usual rules seemed to diminish, it was almost like Marik didn't exist; though that thought immediately made him feel awful.

"No, I know." Malik muttered eventually, trying to ignore the guilt he had set on himself.

"Perhaps it would make more sense to them?"

Malik was about to retort that it was a stupid idea, when he realised they had taken far closer attention to the land, and landmarks than he had, his only interest then had been gaining the God cards, and revenge. Nodding slightly, he placed the letter down long enough to pull his trousers on before picking it up again and exiting the room. He knew Marik wouldn't follow and was glad for it; he wanted answers, not questions.

"Malik-sama." Teran greeted as he entered the room, he nodded, but didn't respond, the line of the letter still playing through his head.

"It would seem…" He started loudly, catching everyone's attention. "That Kaldea left a clue."

"What is that, Malik-sama?" Teran asked, his excitement showing only slightly.

"A letter, only one line matters. I want to know if any of you know what it means. A place of rest hides within it darkness, which in itself hides that which you seek."

"Alkahna Tomb." A Rare Hunter replied after a few moments of silence.

Malik was about to ask more when Teran beat him to it. "Alkahna Tomb is located about 2 hours walk from here. Alkahna was a priest in the new dynasty, but he got caught with the wrong people, they did give him the tomb though, once the Pharaoh's guards had left him to rot."

"I see. Any more, useful, information?"

"I can get hold of some plans for it, but it won't help with the Dewat's."

Malik nodded, ushering Teran out. He didn't want to wait any longer than absolutely necessary. He wasn't made to wait long, within 30 minutes, Teran had returned with detailed plans of the tomb and had even managed to find an 'approximate guess' of the number of people likely to be present there, though Malik quickly decided he probably didn't want to know how Teran had attained it. After a few hours careful planning, Malik had briefly stepped into his room to retrieve the Sennen Rod and his deck before heading out to find Kaldea, and make the Dewat Group sorry that they'd ever crossed him. Of course, that last fact was to stay out of Ishizu and Marik's knowledge if at all possible.

Marik smiled slightly at his hikari's actions, it had been a while since Malik had been so determined and motivated and it was certainly a pleasant improvement. It did leave him bored however, he couldn't go out with Malik, as much as he wanted to. His presence would cause problems, something that needed to be avoided for the meantime. Malik needed to get things sorted as quickly as he could manage; he had never been particularly good at waiting for things, in Marik's opinion at least. There was a nagging feeling in the back of his head to follow Malik to stop him from doing anything stupid, but he planned to ignore it, Malik didn't do stupid things, or if he did, Marik wasn't aware of them.

Sighing, Marik decided to look around the room, though he had been influencing Malik at the time, he had never paid any attention to the surroundings; petty details had not been a concern. Now however, anything was better than sitting around with nothing to do, boredom was one thing he had never handled very well, which was why he had made all his duels so 'interesting'.

Unfortunately for Marik, the room held very little of interest, back then, Malik had been equally unconcerned with 'petty things'. There were no decorations and very few personal items, most of which he assumed had belonged to Kaldea. All in all, it left him with nothing to do, something he was less than happy about.

"I know, I can call Yami, he's probably worried by now, or maybe just angry…"

"Moshi moshi?"

"Yugi…is Yami there?"

"Marik? No he's-oh wait, I think he's back. Hold on."

Marik sighed audibly, he hadn't wanted to talk to Yugi, nor did he want to be sat around waiting, the call would cost a fortune and Malik was likely to throw a fit when he received the bill.

"Marik, where are you?" Yami's voice only held a trace of annoyance; mainly he just sounded concerned, much to Marik's relief.

"Egypt, following my idiot hikari, well, sat waiting for him to get back is more like it. I am so bored, but I'll mess things up if I try to help."

"What's going on, has he…"

"Nah, he's gone to rescue his girlfriend, don't worry."

"What?"

"Forget it. I'll call you when he's back, assuming I don't die of boredom before then…"

"Okay. Later."

Marik pushed the end-call button, knowing Yami wasn't exactly happy with the situation. He supposed he couldn't blame him after all the trouble they had caused, but he thought it was more because Yami didn't know what was going on, which always seemed to bother him immensely. Marik smirked slightly, knowing all too well what the reason was, Yami was an absolute control freak from his days as Pharaoh, he had always known everything he wanted to know, so now, it irritated him no end if someone refused him information. Sighing once again, he decided to try to sleep some of the time away, knowing he would only suffer otherwise.

Malik smirked, the tomb was most certainly the place they needed to be and it seemed they weren't expected. It could be a risk going in, considering the Dewat Group's lacking morals, though the element of surprise would help.

"Everyone ready and willing?" Malik asked quietly, he wasn't about to make them go against their own will again.

"We all stand behind you as always Malik-sama, let's go save her and deal some payback." Teran replied, making Malik smirk again.

"Then let's go."

Surprise certainly worked in their favour, five of the group were 'removed' before anyone even realised they were there, when they were finally discovered, there was too much disorganisation and confusion for them to prove too much of a threat, and with the Sennen Rod back in hand, things had little chance of falling into the well-being of the Dewat Group.

"You. Well, well, showing up after all this time, what a surprise…" Malik held back a snarl at the taunt made by Adryn, the leader of the Dewat Group.

"Where is she?" Malik asked tersely.

"It makes no difference Ishtar, you can't take her."

"I wouldn't be here if I believed that. She's mine, I am taking her back."

Though speaking of Kaldea as a possession made Malik cringe internally, it was something he knew he needed to do, if they found out how much he cared for her, things would become very difficult. Adryn responded, but Malik paid him no heed, his attention fixed on Kaldea, though she was definitely even paler than she had been, she seemed to be in good health.

"Get back inside!" Adryn yelled, snapping Malik out of his reverie.

Malik could see her hesitate and unfortunately so did Adryn. "You dare defy me?! Kill her!"

It took a minute for Malik to comprehend the order, a slight hesitation hardly constituted death, even if Adryn was an asshole. He knew she couldn't fight back, he also knew he couldn't reach her in time.

"I don't need to…" He whispered, not even aware he had spoken.

The Sennen Rod could stop the idiot following Adryn's order and it would still constitute to breaking her binds to Adryn, allowing Malik to take her back with him. Adryn growled at Malik's actions and lunged for him. Malik dropped to the floor, narrowly avoiding the blade of the dagger Adryn had pulled out. Teran stepped in quickly, but it was clear early on that even with the weapon advantage, Teran was no match for Adryn. To make matters worse, for whatever reason, the Sennen Rod didn't seem to affect Adryn.

He noticed Kaldea stepping forward, but had not expected her to have her dagger in hand, apparently she intended to fight Adryn herself. "Adryn, why not play with me instead, if you want me dead so badly?"

"That's just fine bitch, I'll teach you!"

Surprisingly, at least to Malik, she seemed completely unafraid, but then, he quickly realised that unlike himself and Teran, Kaldea knew exactly what she was doing, the flawless movements showing more expertise than the angry attacks of Adryn. Her lithe frame made his attacks easy to avoid, something for which Malik was truly grateful for. After a while, it was clear Adryn was getting tired, while Kaldea was still fine, having put little effort into the fight so far. Adryn made one last, hate-filled lunge, Malik held his breath, afraid that she would be unable to move aside in time; Kaldea however remained calm and stepped aside at the last moment, leaving Adryn wide-open. One simple but swift movement and Adryn dropped, though she hadn't killed him.

"You're a waste of time Adryn, I hope this proved that to you. We're going now, if you bother me again, I will kill you."

Malik smiled softly, whether she meant it or not, the words had the effect she had intended; Adryn wouldn't be bothering them again. He stood up, taking the time to look over her; there were definitely a few cuts and bruises, but nothing that seemed too bad. What worried him most was that Adryn, or one of the others, had taken advantage of her. Seeming to sense his thoughts, Kaldea met his gaze and shook her head, smiling. Relieved, he held his hand out, beckoning her to him, when she stepped close enough to him, he took hold of her hand and led her outside, though he wanted to reconcile, he didn't want to stay in the tomb any longer than necessary. The sooner they were safe, the better.

Marik awoke to the sound of celebration and couldn't help but smile, it seemed Malik had been successful in his quest. He opened the door slightly, wanting to see the girl who held his hikari's attention, but without drawing attention to himself. After a few close calls, he decided to give up and wait for Malik to introduce them on his own accord. Her being there did bring problems, which could prove to be difficult. If he was lucky, she would agree to return with them to Japan, otherwise, he expected Malik would refuse to return with him. Ishizu would be happy with that decision of course; she had wanted Malik back with her since their defeat at Battle City, though there was always the possibility that he would stay with the Rare Hunters. All of two days ago, he would have laughed at that idea, but Malik seemed to have fallen right back into place and equally, the Rare Hunters seemed more than happy to welcome him back in charge of them.

"Marik? Are you okay?" Malik's voice was quiet and not particularly sympathetic.

"Yes. What's going on?" Marik asked neutrally, though he already knew the answer from Malik's tone.

"I'm staying, so you can go home, everything is okay now."

"Malik…"

"I'm keeping the Sennen Rod, just in case those idiots come back, but I'm not going to fall back into old habits, you don't need to worry about me Marik."

"No one is going to like this idea and I can't blame them."

"I'm the nice one, if they can accept you then this shouldn't be too hard. To be blunt, I don't care whether they do or not, to be honest. I'm staying here regardless."

Marik sighed softly, knowing that there was nothing he could say to change Malik's mind, but wanting to try nonetheless. It was selfish, but he really didn't want to let Malik be so far away, he depended on him far too much. "Can't she come with us instead?"

"She could, yes, but we don't want to leave, and it isn't fair on everyone else. I know you want me to take care of you Marik, but Yami can do that instead. I have to live for myself; if I don't do this I'll regret it. Please Marik, just leave."

"Do I at least get to meet her?"

"Yes, later. Sort everything out, we'll be back in a few hours."

Avoiding the automatic reaction to sulk, Marik simply nodded and watched Malik leave. Reluctantly, he made all the arrangements he needed, but decided against calling Yami as he said he would, he was in no mood to speak to anyone. Eventually, Malik returned as promised, Kaldea in tow. Marik had to admit that she was beautiful and certainly her personality seemed to be good too, not like Yugi's idiot friends, but not as harsh as himself or Bakura.

The next day, Marik set back to Japan, leaving Malik in Egypt. He knew it would cause problems, especially when Ishizu found out, but he knew it was unavoidable. It was time for both of them to begin new lives with those they loved, no matter what anyone thought. He did worry that Malik would forget about him and that he would lose contact with his hikari, but if that was what Malik chose, he could only accept it. Things were changing and it was time to move on, but that didn't mean it was a bad thing. Come what may, he could only believe everything would turn out okay.

--

Finished at last! Yay! Hope this is okay for you Shaami; I finished it for you at least. Hope anyone who has read this has enjoyed it, and thanks for the reviews. Just Always to go now, then my YGO fics can finally be put to rest… Anyway, I'll shut up now. Ja ne!


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